Not just a view espoused by comedian and author Steve Harvey anymore! I want to revisit that with you, my wonderful readers, once more.
If you are new to this blog than welcome! If you aren’t than here’s something to catch you up: I had a particular friend of mine, a young lady, whom I had feelings for. She, of no fault of her own, did not feel the same way. And that my friends is just the way the ball bounces. I cut her out of my life to protect myself. She contacted me and she was hurt I acted out that way not understanding why I did it. Once, she found out that I had romantic feelings for her the dynamic of our friendship changed. I had not only been “Friend-Zoned” but worse… I had affected our friendship. Knowing I had those feelings we could not simply ‘hang-out’ anymore. It’s an unspoken repercussion, but one that I took a gamble with. This is why I chose to write about this topic today.
So you see by my example and my experience just why men and women can’t be friends. I realize this is a blanket statement, but in most cases I believe this to be true. Think about it: why do you become friends with someone of the opposite sex? What first attracted you about them?
As human beings (most of us being from the planet earth) are attracted to beautiful things or things that attract us. You gravitate toward someone of the opposite sex or the same-sex by the first impression of how attractive they are to you. Even if that is not the case SOMETHING attracts us that makes us want to be friends (or more) with a person. In my case I was attracted to her from day one. I will and always will want to be more than friends. Even if I have to lie.
It is difficult to be friends with someone of the opposite sex because of our basic need for companionship. It is part of Maslows hierarchy of needs it is something that is programmed within us.
I understand that this happens every day a friendly cohabitation with someone of the opposite gender, but a good amount of the time there are ulterior motives. Whether we desire the other person sexually or even just because we desire to be in a serious relationship with them. Hell we aren’t honest even with ourselves sometimes!
Here’s the good part ladies/ Men this is my opinion on the matter. Our mindset to having a friendship with a woman all about the positives or the benefits of that friendship. The desire to fill the physical need (sex), we have the desire for a companion or wife, we have a desire to be accepted by our male peers, we have a desire to protect. I’m sure there are more reasons that I have not listed, but these are the big reasons in my mind. You don’t have to agree with this analysis this is only an opinion.
So let’s recap:
- Our brains tell us what and who we are attracted to
- We always seek out companionship (it is built within us)
- There is always a motive to being friends with someone of the opposite sex
- Men have the mindset of what they can get out of a relationship (is it economical or beneficial)
Why can’t women and men be friends? Because, we cannot get our signals right. The mindset of a man is vastly different from a woman therefore our brains work differently. So Steve Harvey maybe you’re on to something, ladies “Act like a woman, think like a man”.
Jest a thought to keep in mind from a males perspective.