Not just a view espoused by comedian and author Steve Harvey anymore! I want to revisit that with you, my wonderful readers, once more.
If you are new to this blog than welcome! If you aren’t than here’s something to catch you up: I had a particular friend of mine, a young lady, whom I had feelings for. She, of no fault of her own, did not feel the same way. And that my friends is just the way the ball bounces. I cut her out of my life to protect myself. She contacted me and she was hurt I acted out that way not understanding why I did it. Once, she found out that I had romantic feelings for her the dynamic of our friendship changed. I had not only been “Friend-Zoned” but worse… I had affected our friendship. Knowing I had those feelings we could not simply ‘hang-out’ anymore. It’s an unspoken repercussion, but one that I took a gamble with. This is why I chose to write about this topic today.
So you see by my example and my experience just why men and women can’t be friends. I realize this is a blanket statement, but in most cases I believe this to be true. Think about it: why do you become friends with someone of the opposite sex? What first attracted you about them?
As human beings (most of us being from the planet earth) are attracted to beautiful things or things that attract us. You gravitate toward someone of the opposite sex or the same-sex by the first impression of how attractive they are to you. Even if that is not the case SOMETHING attracts us that makes us want to be friends (or more) with a person. In my case I was attracted to her from day one. I will and always will want to be more than friends. Even if I have to lie.
It is difficult to be friends with someone of the opposite sex because of our basic need for companionship. It is part of Maslows hierarchy of needs it is something that is programmed within us.
I understand that this happens every day a friendly cohabitation with someone of the opposite gender, but a good amount of the time there are ulterior motives. Whether we desire the other person sexually or even just because we desire to be in a serious relationship with them. Hell we aren’t honest even with ourselves sometimes!
Here’s the good part ladies/ Men this is my opinion on the matter. Our mindset to having a friendship with a woman all about the positives or the benefits of that friendship. The desire to fill the physical need (sex), we have the desire for a companion or wife, we have a desire to be accepted by our male peers, we have a desire to protect. I’m sure there are more reasons that I have not listed, but these are the big reasons in my mind. You don’t have to agree with this analysis this is only an opinion.
So let’s recap:
- Our brains tell us what and who we are attracted to
- We always seek out companionship (it is built within us)
- There is always a motive to being friends with someone of the opposite sex
- Men have the mindset of what they can get out of a relationship (is it economical or beneficial)
Why can’t women and men be friends? Because, we cannot get our signals right. The mindset of a man is vastly different from a woman therefore our brains work differently. So Steve Harvey maybe you’re on to something, ladies “Act like a woman, think like a man”.
Jest a thought to keep in mind from a males perspective.
Tuesday August 28th, 2012 3:04
So, there I was. IN TRAFFIC on 495… IN RUSH HOUR! Oh, why did the Murph go 495?! Anybody who has anywhere to go DOESN’T take 495! As usual the traffic is at a SUPER UNCOOL grid-lock… But, will the Murph be deterred from having a good day??? HELL NO! So, I crank my radio full blast on my Pandora Station, and what’s the first song that plays??? None, other than my favorite artist… Which is none other than Vanilla Ice! I was singing at the top of my golden lungs! ICE ICE BABY! A lady next to me started clapping I’m pretty sure and she offered to pay me to shut-up. Ha! If by shut-up she meant: ‘don’t sing another word until I can get your golden voice in a recording studio’ than she would be so right in saying that! Unfortunately, I get a little impatient when I’m in traffic. So, what would a normal person do in a traffic jam situation? Call for a limo to come pick you up. So I took out my awesome I-fun and looked up a limo company.
I dialed the number and someone picked up but the Murph cut him off and said “Limo now.” He sounded kind of confused, but this did not phase me. I said to the man “I want a limo right now. I’m on 495 right now. Pick me up.”
“Sir, we don’t do pickups in 495 traffic, I’m sorry.”
“No freaking way are you kidding me?! Well… How about I get out of my car and you guys come pick me up? I’ll kick in an extra 2 or 3$ for gas…”
“Uh… How much were you planning on paying…”
“A cool 13.74.” Says I.
“Not cool.” Says he.
“COOL. I’ll wait on the side of the road for you guys to come pick me up. Or I will be having words with your management…” (on google reviews I said under my breath…)
“Uh yeah okay… See you in 2 minutes.” And he hung up.
YES! I have secured my DESERVED luxury ride! So I put my car in park got out and this bozo the clown behind me started blaring his clown car horn! Again, the only logical course of action for me to do was dance on the hood of his car.
The dude started shouting that I was dancing to good on his hood so I kept on dancing. He got out to cheer me on but accidentally grabbed me. We both fell and BLACK OUT.
I’m in the hospital because I must have fell down with so much grace that my body just couldn’t handle it… But, wait… What happened to my car???
More importantly who is that cute nurse checking my vitals? Sorry sweetheart, but you just gave the Murph A HEART ATTACK!