Have you ever wondered: why do all the good people get shafted while all the bad one’s don’t?
Why am I a PERFECT example of the phrase ‘No good deed goes unpunished’?
Well, allow me to answer that question in my own words.
Like you I’ve experienced many of these “why me” moments, and believe me I’ve had my fair share of grumblings about them! It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve been able to teach myself how to separate my feelings about my actions and the action of someone else. In my opinion it is incredibly easy to mix the anxiety and anger of someones failure to respond, in a fashion that we would like, to our kindness. Now, let me use the simplest of examples for you: holding the door open for someone who doesn’t even acknowledge your kindness. The question is: does that bother you? Do you walk off thinking about how rude that person was?
My advice to you, dear friends and readers alike, is to separate your actions from theirs. What, do I mean by that? Simple. When you held the door open you made a conscious decision to do good for someone else. That meant forfeiting some of your time and energy, not a lot I might add, but enough for someone to appreciate it. They react by walking straight through the door: which might cause you to feel disrespected or unappreciated. We have now diagnosed the two parts of the equation: you and the other person. The problem is how do you properly replace those negative feelings about that person with positive feelings about yourself? The answer is to give yourself credit and appreciate yourself for doing a good deed. If you have kept up to date with this blog you might even try using the self-affirmation quotes I have listed to keep your positive self-esteem level at an all time high!
It is the complete opposite of the age-old “It’s not you its me…”. You are in control of your own ship. Don’t let that rude business man ruin your day in that brief encounter. Train yourself to give yourself the credit you deserve for you good deeds and to RELEASE the negative thoughts caused by someone else. It is an incredibly powerful tool to have in day-to-day life. But, on the same note I must caution: this is a technique to relieve stress not something designed to help you hold it in. Holding stress in is a dangerous pressure valve that, more often than not, has dangerous consequences. But, back to the original point. Look at the situation this way: use your imagination. What do I mean by that? Use your imagination to fabricate a reason why the other person has acted why they did. For example: that business man had to go run out to give you 20$ for being such a great guy/gal. Or maybe he was so unused to the kindness that he was so in awe that he was speechless!
So, let’s recap: we are emotional beings seeking acceptance and appreciation (for as much as people will deny it). When someone treats us poorly we often times internalize it. My suggestion to you is to take it in AND let it dissipate within you. Much like your digestive system it takes in the nutrients and excrete the waste. You too will take in the positive of the good things you have done, and let the negative experience dissipate.
And, that my friends is my key to a more positive and happy existence on this sometimes not so nice world we live in.
Have a blessed, happy, healthy, and productive life ahead of you!