Sunday Dec. 16th, 2012
With the arrival of the Nets back in New York they have been warmly embraced by the city. A team they can confidently call their own. Such veterans as 10 year vet Reggie Evans and 9 year vet Keith Bogans are excited about the new venue.
“It is a chance to really give Brooklyn the team they can get excited about. This is going to be a great home for the team” says head coach Avery Johnson.
But, a shocking development out of the Nets camp.
Mikhail Prokhorov, the principle owner of the Brooklyn Nets who initiated the transfer from New Jersey to Brooklyn has announced a new direction for the team. He has announced, despite the advice of his senior advisers, a dramatic change for the team.
The teams name will be changed to “the Brooklyn Bartenders”. Mikhail refused to comment on the new team name, but merely pointed out the proud history of bar tending the proud city of Brooklyn had. Much like the name “76’ers” or the storied history of the Indiana Pacers.
The new name change has come as a shock to everyone. Especially Chairman of the Board of Directors Christophe Charlier “I am shocked. I don’t even drink…” Unfortunately, he had no other comment to provide us. This news has not only come as a shock to the board, but for the entire city of Brooklyn. This will mean hundreds of thousands of dollars lost on re-branding the team. All of the Jerseys, hats, memorabilia, and paraphernalia will now be all but useless. The monetary figures have yet to be finalized by the accounting department of the new “Brooklyn Bartenders”. The Brooklyn camp has released a statement saying that it is willing to take the team in a direction and create their own brand without fear.
In honor of the new name, it is also reported, that the players went on a binge drinking spree. There was only 2 reported cases of alcohol poisoning. This bodes well for the new Brooklyn Bartenders.
“We certainly do not condone drinking, but the we are the Brooklyn Bartenders…” said Coach Avery Johnson.
–Associated Press Josh C.