Murphy log No. 6

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“September 15th… Behind Enemy Lines…

This is the Murph… I am currently behind enemy lines… Where, you ask? SHHHH don’t read this so loudly you’ll get me caught! The Murph is currently reporting in at an UNDISCLOSED women’s college. I can’t tell you where I am or how I got here… but what I can tell you is that the view is veryyyy beautiful.

Is there a more perfect habitat for ladies man himself than to be surrounded by the gorgeous-ness of the babes in this place?! I mean wow! So I pretended to be a proud parent of a one “Nicoles Andimes”! HA! And they bought it! What SUCKERS! I talked all about how she wanted to be a Lawyer or a cartoonist. Anyways, I had on this real elaborate outfit: a fake mustache, fake side burns, I had this brown suit from the 80’s or something it was awesome ,and I even borrowed my dad’s suspenders even! These guys just ate it up! I think they knew something was up though… Because, for some reason the same security guard at the club was trying to kick me out again! Like where does he always come from?! He’s always jealous of my hot butter popcorn coolness. So he chased me around trying to get some of my coolness for himself, and while in pursuit…. I might have bumped into madame president of the school… Suffice to say my coolness was captured and given an honorary pass to never visit!

Again, my dear ladies and gentleman… WOULD THE MURPH BE DETURRED?! Hell no! That’s why I jigged my way back in and here I am… I think I could pass for a director of female studies, because you already know I’m an expert in that (I’m sure that’s a thing… isn’t it?). I will be going under the guise of “Professor Handsome” or… Or maybe “Professor X” no… No I think that one’s taken… Or In that case “Professor XXX”!!! Well no… They would know in an instant… Okay, I’m sticking with “Professor Biceps” I mean come on that’s a good name!


(oh, and female colleges if you need any professors I am accepting best offers).


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