I talk a lot about love, but isnt that what’s on our minds?

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As, we sit there in class or at our job when things are slow what do you think of? Oh, what show we forgot to Set a reminder for? What’s the latest celebrity gossip? Who we haven’t received a text back from maybe? Or what that crush meant when he/she said “Sorry, I can’t hang out today..”

Hey, I’ll be the first to say it. The most inane comment/text make me think the most. Textbook over thinker over here. I’m sure you all have felt the same way at some point. And, for those of you in a relationship or married congratulations and read this for entertainment value (who knows if these words will help you give advice?). According to unmarried.orgThere are 99.6 million unmarried people over age 18 in the U.S., representing nearly 44% of the adult population. U.S. Census Bureau. “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2010″ So there are just a few people out there looking I suppose… Heck it’s part of our hard wiring as human beings to find that supermodel (hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Call me shallow…). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs may have put this on the bottom of the pyramid, but we are so fortunate in the U.S to have all of our needs met right down to the bottom of this pyramid. Heck, if I could find a good girl I’m sure my blog posts would have to do with DEALING and COMPROMISING with your significant other.

There’s so much more that goes into a relationship than often we give it credit for. I’m going to break it down the way I see it happening. Well, first you have to meet the person you like. Often there’s a long process of what I like to call the ‘feeling out’ phase after the initial meeting. This phase is where the two criminals… I mean people in question figure out more about each other and really decide if they like the other person on a more emotionally level and not just on a physical one. After this phase is called the ‘transitional friend’ phase where the two people figure out whether the other one feels the same and that they can make the jump from being just friends to being MORE. Than afterwards comes the most important yet the hardest transition, I believe, for people to make the ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ phase. This is a very cut and dry, but this is the way I see it happen. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but in my experience this is the way it goes down (if you believe something else please comment below, I am open to new ideas). How we get there is always unique, and one that I haven’t been able to make very often I’m always stuck on 2 or 3 like math problems you just can’t seem to solve.

Finding a person you want to be with isn’t as simple as ‘J-date’ or ‘match.com’ don’t let these advertisements fool you. It takes two people not an intermediary (although in certain instances it does help). There’s no magic potion that helps you find the right match (even though everybody wants you to believe this ‘love potion no. 9’ does the trick…)

So let’s review:

1. The meeting   2. The Feel-out phase  3. The transitional-freind phase 4. The boyfriend-girlfriend phase

— It is never point A to point B. it is never that simple. You have to work for it.

I just hope by getting these words out of my head I hope to alleviate some of the stress that builds up in my own mind. Like a pressure valve release if you will.

 

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2 thoughts on “I talk a lot about love, but isnt that what’s on our minds?

    87 said:
    July 20, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    I think theres no phase 3 Josh. In my experience after the”feel-out” phase, you enter either one of these three categories: a) friend zone, b) boyfriend or “fuck-buddy” or c) dismiss or the famous “too busy”

      jestawordonlife responded:
      July 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm

      Very true actually… that’s probably what I would in subcatagories under “transitional-friend” phase. Because, I feel, that’s when you either regress to either being just a friend or nothing or you become something more.

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