3:16 pm July 17,2012
Since its my first post of me and the sheer unbelievable awesomeness that is me, the Murphinator. I will go ahead and talk about my night hittin the HOT STREETS OF D.C!!!
So, there I was standing on the street corner in D.C. It was a ‘Hot night wind was blowin’ (yeah Carly Rae Jepson style!). I’m waiting in this line to get into Fur Nightclub and its long as hell! I’m feeling good got my bell bottoms on, my fake rainbow afro, my tuxedo jacket with no shirt underneath, and I’m ROCKIN’ the skele-toes shoes. I swear this is the best I’ve looked in… seconds! Because, the Murph is always looking his best. Anyways I’m out there doing a little jig in the line and these people are looking at me (obviously out of love and admiration). So halfway through my dance these people behind me start pushing me out of line. I immediately thought to myself “they must really want me to go to the front of line”. So I jigged my way up to the front of the line and met the bouncer. He was looking rough and tough but not as tough as me. I’m pretty sure I can bench press 1,000 pounds. Looking him up and down I said “Hey, man you let a rockin’ swagged out hipster into this establishment.” And you know what the 6 foot 7 walking muscle said to me?!?!
“Are you on the list? Cuz you aren’t gettin in here lookin like that” Is MURPHY ON THE LIST??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Murphy is always on the list. So I says to him “uh… yeah brah.” and I tapped his clipboard 9 or 10 times to get him to look at it. Long story short he couldn’t handle me out shining him in front of a large amount of people. Being clever I decided to walk behind the building and try to get in through the emergency exit (that’s what celebrities do), because I don’t want to attract a crowd obviously. And guess what?! The same meat head bouncer met me at the back door!! How did he know I was going to be there?!?! So I shouted at him and asked how he knew and he pointed at the camera pointed to right where I was standing. I laughed it off as his ignorance of my fame and prowess.
Walking back up to the front of the building I looked up the side of the building and it made me wonder… I just saw the new ‘Amazing Spiderman’ and I thought ‘why can’t I just scale this wall and sneak my way inside through the roof???’ So climbing up on top of the trash can I grabbed for some piping, but turns out I was too strong and pulled the pipe off and fell straight onto the dumpster. Again, I laughed it off and then jigged on down to the bus stop and waited for public transit to come pick up your lordship.
Fur Nightclub: LAME. Murphy: Duh. WINNING!